What’s the difference between concentrate and focus? When do we use courier, and not carrier? How about comment and remark, fine and penalty, etc.? I quite enjoy responding to these questions without hesitation. Last week, however, when my colleague asked me whether or not optimism means happiness, it took me a while to say that optimistic people are not necessarily happy individuals (i.e. optimism doesn’t equate to happiness, and vice versa).
I’m a “half full glass” person, so I often see a plus rather than a minus that even in a negative situation, e.g. missing my bus by 2 minutes, I think “Every cloud has a silver lining.” I’ve always been like this, which helps me deal with the present. On the other hand, when it comes to the future, I’m a rational optimist.
Though I take responsibility for my decisions and actions, I believe that I’m not the only person involved in a situation that goes wrong. Likewise, I accept the reality that this ‘thing gone wrong’ has inconveniences (but only temporary – optimistic again).
Are optimistic people (“me” included) happy?
Optimism is a style of thinking and not a genetic attribute or permanent attitude, so it can be changed and learnt (as well as taught). Since optimism has good effects on mental health, professional success and personal gain, we don’t want to replace it with negativism (pessimism); do we?
Negativism leads to helplessness and undesirable self-fulfilling prophecy (i.e. expectation/thought that affects one’s behaviour causing this expectation/thought to come true). It, too, can be changed and learnt (as well as taught). But, who wants to be negative (pessimistic) knowing that it derails you from meeting your needs and achieving your goals?
“Research shows that happy and unhappy people generally have the same number of adverse events in their lives. The difference is in their interpretation of unfortunate life events. Optimistic people are willing and able to make positive life action plans to counteract negative events in their lives, while pessimists are more likely to do nothing, then find themselves sinking into negativism, lethargy, perhaps even depression.” Betty W. Phillips, Ph.D., Psychology (http://www.bettyphillipspsychology.com/id15.html seen on 16/10/16).
Being optimistic is a state of mind that has a positive effect on many aspects of our lives — e.g. you’ll live healthily and efficiently. Optimistic people are hopeful for a better situation or result.
Happiness, on the other hand, is an emotion (like sadness, anger and disappointment) and is biological in nature; it reinforces optimism.
Optimism is a by-product of happiness rather than a cause of it. (Optimistic individuals don’t give up easily; they are resilient).
I’m a rational optimist and not always happy. When I’m sad due to difficulties caused by other people, I keep my optimism high by motivational and inspiring quotes, which I use in any given opportunity, e.g. writing these on note pads and flip charts (sharing them with my students).
Going to the gym at least twice a week makes me happy and relieves tensions. I find it relaxing to watch movies at home or in the cinema/theatre once a week.
My job gives me a lot of satisfaction and joy. Every day, there’s something that makes me smile and gratified. This can be from simple to unusual gestures, such as giving and receiving words of thanks and appreciation, eating something I really fancy or have never tried before, reading, writing or having a drink with someone I like.
There are tons of write-ups on how to be happy and optimistic, thus I won’t replicate these here. However, I’d like to point out two issues that are relevant to any discussion about happiness and optimism. First, we’ve to go an extra mile to sleep at least 7-8 hours every night because a lack of sleep makes us moody, impatient and less energetic and alert. Second, it’s not easy to leave a gloomy past behind, which creates unhappiness and interferes with our efforts to become a better person, so how about getting rid of those associated with our toxic past?
“An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; a pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity” — Winston Churchill