Tag Archives: New Year

Wishing you an awesome New Year… No resolution only motivation

It’s still the holiday season and being on staycation, I’ve time to read. One of the articles I’ve recently come across is on the science of success and motivation (https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2017/05/19/the-science-behind-success-and-motivation/#6b62c0c44a81Harvard seen 26/12/17). Mr Eric Barker, writer of the Barking Up The Wrong Tree blog, stated that “If you’re tired and unmotivated, it almost doesn’t matter what other strengths you have. People who do nothing tend to achieve nothing. So knowing what motivates you can be critical to success.” I agree with him.

Quoting Prof Teresa Amabile’s research finding that the feeling of progress in your efforts is the most motivating factor in life, Barker advises us to focus on “small wins.” I share his view on this: it is better to work gradually and a step at a time toward meeting our main challenge than to deal with massive issues head on then feel like we’re not getting closer to our goals and are failing.

There are two types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation comes from within, i.e. yourself. Individuals are motivated because they want to be accepted, honoured, independent, loved, powerful, respected, or wanted.

Extrinsic motivation comes from the outside, and the most often mentioned motivating factor for working hard is money. However, many studies have shown that money is not the main source of happiness. If I were one of the respondents, I would have definitely revealed the same thing.

Years ago, an Australian friend brought to my attention a research done by Dr Adele Eskeles Gottfried, retired professor of educational psychology at the California State University at Northridge. She had surmised that children with parents who encouraged independence, inquisitiveness and effort had higher intrinsic motivation and achievement, and these have long-term effects. Dr Gottfried even said that teaching children the desire to learn is as important as teaching them academic skills.

“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink”. This down-to-earth idiomatic expression means that you can provide people with an opportunity or an advantage, but you can’t force them to do something if they don’t want to.

Since intrinsic motivation is primordial to success, how can we have this? I am motivated when I feel I am doing something that is part of my overall goal and wellbeing; or it contributes to the good of other people, especially to my family and friends. My motivation is maintained, or even increased, when my performance is favourably recognised. It’s alright to be proud of what we achieve.

I don’t get money from blogging, but I do it because I enjoy writing. I am passionate about sharing my ideas and experiences with others. How about you?

Understanding what motivate us can have immediate and lasting positive effects. By doing what motivate us, we are more likely to live a healthy, peaceful and happy life.

If you want people around you to be motivated, then be intrinsically motivated yourself. Motivation is contageous: values, beliefs, actions and behaviour can be transmitted and facilitated.

All the best.

Surprises, wonders and hope

Happy New Year!

December 2016 was an unusual Christmas for me because I had received an unexpected, generous gift from someone who’s not a friend or relative. When I opened the envelope, I thought it was handed to me by mistake, so the next time I saw her I tried to return it. With the sweetest smile, she said “it’s not a mistake, it’s for you from Santa.” A week later, I still couldn’t believe and accept such a present. What did I do to deserve such kindness? This act of generosity propelled me to do the same, and I was even more blessed. I was so joyful to see the sparkling eyes of contentment and happiness of those I shared my blessings with.

The year 2016 has just ended, and it’s quite a challenge trying to find words to describe it. It has been a tough year for several people whose friendship I value (i.e. losing parents and family members, colleagues, etc.) This reminds me, as in other gloomy situations, that I should not neglect my family and friends, and be greatly grateful for what I’ve.

As well, I should look at the glass half full, and not half empty, even in surprisingly polarising events, such as Brexit in the UK and Donald Trump’s election as the US president. The situation in Syria’s Aleppo is dehumanising and unbearable, and how can peace and security be restored there? Last month’s terrorist attacks in Europe and the Middle East resulted in the loss of many lives, which have contributed significantly to making the fear of migrants and refugees even worse. Consequently, insecurity in many facets and from different directions besets our society. On the other hand, there were inspiring events last year that have left a positive imprint, such as the Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro with its Refugee Team (the first time in its history).

What could we have done better in 2016? There are things that we definitely can’t undo, however, these can serve as hard-earned lessons to be a good or better person. I won’t seek for perfection as “One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing is perfect. Perfection simply doesn’t exist…..Without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist” (Stephen William Hawking – born 8 January 1942, English theoretical physicist, cosmologist and author who has a rare early-onset, slow-progressing form of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis and uses a speech-generating device to communicate).

But, I’m persuaded that the following actions can make life more fun, fulfilling and challenging:

If you’re not happy with today, do something about it (i.e. willing to change).
Bury experiences that make you angry.
Be honest: the truth is easier to remember. The so called ‘white lies’ or an economised truths distort and can cause emotional pain to others.
Cultivate or have a sense of gratitude.
Stop making excuses and blaming others.
Avoid being cynical and defensive.
There are always two sides to every story, so listen to both.
Forgive
(What else?)

The above statements are easier written (said) than done; however, they are worth giving a go. If we don’t succeed the first time, let’s try again and again.

May you experience lots of love, joy, peace and good health in 2017 and beyond.
Take care!